toddler's note: rainbows my ass

today i experienced my first thunderstorm. i was sleeping like a baby (yes i get to use the term literally, jealous rightttt?) when  a loud smashing sound awoke me. needless to say, i started wailing for mama. one thing i can say about mama, she's pretty darn dependable... always there when i wail for help. as i whimpered in her arms, mama told me about thunder and lighting and how they make the world light up, albeit in a scary way. she promised to keep me safe. 

suddenly, there was a small explosion; the lamp by our side had short circuited and triggered the safety switch on the electrical box, causing our entire apartment to erupt in pitch black. that was when all hell broke loose. mama got all panicky and started running around trying to fix the issue. when she couldn't fix it she broke into tears and started stuffing her nipple into my mouth and repeatedly telling me it's okay she'd take care of me it's okay. cheh, i was fine. i ain't afraid of no dark. i was more afraid of her choking me to death with her nipple than anything else. 

finally, she gave up and called for help. she told papa that something big exploded (she didn't mention it was just a puny lamp, methinks mama likes to sound dramatic for no apparent reason) in the apartment and that she needed him home immediately. within fifteen minutes, papa was rushing through the front door, panting from exhaustion and worry. i got all excited and flattered that he would worry that much about me. however, my excitement was short-lived; his first question to mama was "IS MY XBOX OKAY??! WAS IT MY XBOX THAT EXPLODED?!!?! IS IT OKAY?!!?!?!!" 

not one glance at me, nope.

the lights are back on now, and i can see things a whole lot clearer; i need new parents, man.