as a mom, you will learn many things that you wouldn't bother learning otherwise. take, for instance, poop. After ten months of diapers, i've become the Yoda of poops. i've also, for the sake of experimentation, intentionally caused a variety of interesting poops to explode into the diapers. how does one do that, you might ask? well, thanks to the wonders of breastfeeding, whatever i eat will come out of her cute little bum.i had a durian during durian season; she pooped out durian-smelling mush. i had Cheetos for breakfast; she pooped out orange-colored globs. i went through a banana phase; she stood in the corner of the room, face wrinkled up to the rhythm of her groaning, and gave me a bag filled with adult poop as hard to digest as lunch thereafter.
i felt so bad for the banana phase that I bought her half of Toys 'r' Us.
so yes, nasty begets nasty, and my banana phase has come and gone. still, i sit in anticipation day by day, weighing her bum on both hands before i expose its contents. sometimes i get nothing, other times i get a mess of green goo, and on those special days where she loves me best, i get a healthy batch of brown with quivers of corn shucked in between (duly credited to grandma's corn concoction). whatever it is, whatever i get, i, shockingly, look forward to opening each and every diaper. Because that's what makes me a mom: i change diapers and i dig boogers. And
EDITED AN HOUR LATER: ...I obviously forget to finish sentences a lot due to her scampering around nibbling on wires.
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