we went for a walk today. it was like any other walk a day, except it was not. it was papa's birthday, and the day began gloomy. but i, in my fairly innocent state of mind, loved it all. i loved the dark and dampened mist that collided so swiftly with the coarse of papa's chin, i loved the birds that chirped as loudly as they would a brighter day, i loved that the monkeys were hiding from the rain and far away from kidnapping me and making me the future monkey lady that children will laugh and point at. i loved it all, i did.
still, i have yet to learn. i have yet to learn that when it rains in heaven, earth overflows with tears. mama always sang to me stories of good 'til i fell asleep. today, however, mama told me about the world. she told me that a catastrophe is not a bunch of cats on trophies, but horrifying stories that materialize in the world because of who we are and what we have done to ruin mother nature. mama told me that she was sorry, sorry that she couldn't keep me protected from a cruel world, sorry that she had partaken in the demise of our generation and generations to come, sorry that by the time i am ten, there might be no monkeys for me to hate, and there might be no birds to sing on rainy days.
i am too young, so i remain ambivalent about the world's collapse. for all the little i know of it, i know i am safe in the arms of my parents. and i know that if the world were to end in my time it might end, that i will remain safe in the arms of my parents who love me enough to make it all beautiful.
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