toddler's note: the lazy song

on the morning of mother's day, mama woke me up and dragged me out of bed at 4 freaking am. she told me we were gonna do something nice. so fine, i thought... i'll spare five minutes of sleep. after all, it was mother's day and she was mildly involved in the creating of my awesomeness. she took a few minutes to doodle a pig, squeezed pink out onto a filthy palette, plopped my cute feet into the mess, and started forcing them all over an empty canvas. i screamed child abuse child labour child anything to stop this insane act of falsely rendered affection, but it continued until the pink spread to my legs, to my tummy, to my face. it continued til the pink on my face turned to red from the screams.

i was so upset that i couldn't see in the dark what we had made. but when morning arrived and we brought the canvas to gramma's place, gramma was so proud of the gift that she placed it in the living room for everyone to see. and it was then that i saw that i did something good.

as for what i got mama? - well, she's been hinting for a day off for weeks now in the form of bruno mars' the lazy song, but i thought hey what better way to surprise someone than to give them the complete opposite of what they asked? instead, i gave her an entire day of poop and cries. and i didn't sleep. and i threw food all over the bed. and i did everything i knew would infuriate the hell outta her. just coz she's special liddat. 

when she finally collapsed from exhaustion trying to keep me happy, papa helped me make a little card to show her how i really feel, and we placed it by her bedside so that it was the first thing she woke up to.

i'd hate to toot my own horn, but i'm pretty sure i made her day.